Here is my article.
My Ring.
My fiancé Chris and I are in our early thirties. We are in touch with who we are and who we aren’t. When we got engaged we talked about what we wanted our wedding to be. A traditional wedding is very conservative, very elegant, very classy and very not us. So we knew what we didn’t want. But what did we want? We wanted bright, joyful, family centered and above all that FUN. But with what money we have it seems pretty meager. Early on we came to realize that just makes us get more creative.
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Love what you’ve already got!
The best way to start saving is to use things that you already have. For us this meant that instead of renting a limo we’ll be driven around in my parent’s classic 1956 Pontiac Star Chief. After you and your fiancé discuss what the look and feel of your day will be step back and take stock of what is around you. The best way to get your personality into your wedding is to use what you already have.
When we first met we played trivial pursuit and our first date was also trivia. We love games and wanted to use our board games for something in our wedding. Thus we’re using them for our centerpieces. On top of those will be old glass Coke bottles from my Coke collecting parents. In the bottles will be origami and paper–pieced roses and daisies, a cherished hobby of mine.
A bit of a mockup of our centerpieces.
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Beg, borrow, barter
Maybe origami flowers aren’t your forte. Or you don’t have an extra luxury vehicle sitting around. Beg, borrow, barter for what you need. Maybe not beg, but borrow and barter are great ways to get the things you need. Use what you can barter with and trade with your talents. Bartering and trading was the norm as late as when your grandparents got married. Maybe you or your fiancée make beautiful cabinets or you have a deft hand at design. Perhaps you have an antique armoire that your baker has her eye on. You never know until you ask. My fiancé is great with computers and owns a computer solutions company. So when it came to the reception site and DJ they were all paid for with trading skills.
Borrowing for weddings is as timeless as “I Do”. After all it is one of the good luck charms of weddings: Something new, something borrowed, something blue. If you have friends that got married and their tiara, jewelry or shoes are sitting around collecting dust ask to borrow them. But then again, something new is always fun. (Since most girls love to go shopping.)
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Love to shop, but be a spendthrift.
You didn’t marry the first boy that asked you for a date (or maybe you did!) or buy the first car you test drive. So don’t buy into the first dress, flower arrangement, ring set, décor, etc that you see. Look around. Unless you are on a severe time crunch you should have the time to check out your options. The old saying “I have more time than money” is often true. If one craft store has glass hurricane vases for $25.00 check around, bide your time, clip your coupons. Another store may have something similar (or better!) for less. Also, don’t be afraid to check out untraditional places for wedding items. The local craft store has one pound bags of black sand for 2.99 each. My best friend needed around 15-20 of these. Two blocks away Menards (a home remodeling store) had 20 pounds of black sand (the same sand) for 3.99 for the whole thing. She returned her bags of sand and bought one big one for much less. A person need not go into debt for beautiful centerpieces.
Another idea many brides don’t mention enough is thrift stores and garage sales. Depending on your style this may be your best resource. Looking for small glasses to keep the game pieces in on our centerpieces this was invaluable. A quarter per piece is better than even your local dollar store. And a new trend among weddings is using mason jars for various décor. Easily found at garage sales they are usually found in bulk. Chris and I looked into renting an antique looking popcorn machine on wheels for $39. But stopping at a garage sale when we were on vacation in a town a hundred miles from home we found the same machine for $50. Works like a charm and is now sitting in my game room as a cute antique brightening up the room. Perfect for movie nights when friends come over.
Even craigslist can be a great resource for finding linens, décor, dresses or even your photographer. Emerging talents await just a click away. But beware and always stay safe. When meeting with someone from online bring a friend and meet in a public place. What new DJ or photographer can resist meeting with a prospective client over coffee at Starbucks or tea at Panera? If they balk at that they may not be on the up and up. Use your common sense and stay safe.
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It is only one day.
With your wedding it is so easy to imagine the fairytale you’ve always wanted. The big lavish expensive all out “me” or “us”-fest of your dreams. Then reality crashes down and suddenly your schemes involve selling your car, your blood and maybe a relative or two to make money to fund it. Or your itchy trigger finger reaches into your purse to grab your 20% interest credit card. WAIT! Stop, put down the Visa card and step away. You are about to start your married life deep(er) in debt. The main reason couples get divorced in now is money. Fund your entire wedding with credit cards and you are asking for strife and trouble. I understand sometimes credit cards have to be used for some things. I am a big fan of putting all your deposits on credit card to keep track of the expenses and have an extra receipt. However only if you have the money to pay it off right away. Else your justified a couple hundred here or there turns into a few thousand into the tens of thousands. Ouch.
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Try to keep a level head.
Tantrums and fits only lead to disasters.
When a person gets emotional and disappointed because of a setback, however small or big, we tend to make rash decisions. Sometimes things work out but many times those decisions lead to disaster. For instance if you suddenly find out the dress you wanted so badly is no longer available you may, in a fit of emotional insecurity, buy the next one you “love”. Later you find that the original dress was still available at a store online. Now you are “stuck” with something that looked good in the store but under buyer’s remorse scrutiny looks nothing like what you saw in the mirror. Beware your emotions. Always keep someone at arm’s or phone’s length to help talk you through the emotional wedding rollercoaster. (A small tidbit, this isn’t always your best friend or even your mother. Choose someone as you would choose a rehab sponsor. A person who doesn’t have as much emotional vested interest. Preferably a guide who has been through this before and knows what you are going through.)
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Have YOUR wedding be a reflection of the two of you.
As I said before Chris and I are not ‘elegant and classy’. However, on the opposite token we are not “rednecks” nor uncouth. We are who we are and we want our wedding to reflect that. Knowing we didn’t have much to spend on flowers I opted to not have silk flowers because occasionally they try to look real but just come off as fake looking. Instead I went in the opposite direction. Origami and paper pieced flowers. There is no denying these aren’t real but they are also beautiful and handmade. They are in my opinion just as much of a work of art as real flowers. And as a bonus they can be created and stored months in advance.
Another way our wedding will showcase our personalities is in the food. We love going to new places and trying out their burgers and ice cream. (standard American diner fare) So for us it was a no brainer what we wanted for our reception dinner. A build your own burger bar with fries, coleslaw and fruits is perfect for us. And as for cake, we’ll have a small cake but our dessert will be a make your own sundae station. Complete with all the fixings you could think of.
Prioritize things in your wedding and make sure you know what you want. Keep the top priorities whether it’s the food, photographer or in our case board games in mind and work everything else around them. Because if you don’t have a strong sense of what your wedding will look like you will flounder as you go to wedding expos or as the day gets closer. Keep your options open but know if you want to invite 250 people to your wedding it will look nothing like an intimate 60 person small wedding. Be open to pasta instead of chicken, roses instead of lilies, a DJ instead of a band but know generally what you want.
My main piece of advice is to enjoy your day. What will you remember after all is done and you are looking back on the day? Remember the details but don’t forget the feeling. Sometime during your day close your eyes, inhale deeply and listen to the sounds of a wonderful day coming together to celebrate two people who fell in love.
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